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May Book Club Check-In: Come As You Are

by Kristine Fredheim on May 15, 2021

Come As You Are is definitely one of the best books I’ve read over the past few years - mainly because my sexual knowledge, like so many, was nearly non-existent. 

I remember in first grade, our teacher sat us down in a circle and we all knew what we were about to talk about. The rumors about sex had spread like a wildfire, and we wondered how babies were made! When my teacher started talking, I was disappointed. She said, “Babies are made when the man's penis enters the woman pee pee.” 

This got me hella confused about my actual vagina. So when I got my period, I had no idea really where the blood came from. Like, Where? Which hole is it?! I hit puberty really young, and as much as I loved growing tits, I was nervous about my monthly bleeds. I carried shame too, and would hide it for about a year. 

When high school came around, we had sex-ed classes, but mostly focused on how kids get pregnant early and ruin their lives. Also, how to practise safe sex. This didn't prepare me for the emotional side of growing into a woman and getting sexual attention. Not to mention, the emotional rollercoaster that happens when you actually have sex for the first time. You’re overcome with what feels like a connection - so much so that you think the relationship is destined to last forever. Truth be told, I still tap into this feeling every once in a while, but I’ve learned that pleasure doesn't always equal love. 

After dating my first real boyfriend for a year, breaking up felt like our relationship was a lie. Now, I've always been dramatic, but I wish I had learned more about what happens in our bodies when we share and exchange sexual energy. This information would’ve saved me from believing that I didn’t need to be “perfect” and “sexy” to get attention - and that sexual rejection ISN’T a rejection of your true worth!!! 

I invite you to read Come As You Are to educate yourself and realize that you’re normal and worthy! And definitely not alone. This book will help you hone your mindset, bring more awareness around stress cycles, and reasons for not using sex as a solution. For me, I walked away feeling empowered and excited about my body. I love having this connection with myself and my newfound ability to practise sexual boundaries.

I chose this book for May because it’s spring time. As nature blooms, this energy is within us too. So read, learn and practice fulfilling your needs safely! 

Check out my IGTV on Come As You Are and be sure to follow @kristinesbookclub on Instagram! 

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